I own the king of the world

Yesterday, 6^th of January, the Three Wise Men delivered presents to the kids — and some adults — in Spain and, despite what I wrote two years ago, I went to Vilafranca to find out whether I was among the fortunate ones.

For the second year in a row, I asked the Wise Men for a book for every member of my family. Being a man I’m too lazy to search for original and breathtaking presents, so I choose a simple thing with an intrinsic value that doesn’t need to be shown in public and can be aesthetically put away when undesired.

My very own copy!

People’s taste in books is something very subjective, which means that no objection can be raised to giving one. Additionally, the time my mother and sister spend reading, they won’t spend it watching junk TV like Wherever Shore.

A foldable umbrella, a pair of slippers and a special present were waiting for me in Vilafranca. The special present wasn’t from my family; it was from Salvador Macip. Three weeks ago, he offered a copy of his book El rei del món (‘The king of the world’, only available in Catalan for now) to every reader of his blog who wanted one — no small print — in a most selfless gesture.

Children — and teachers — stay home today to play with their new toys. It won’t be a problem to read El rei del món in my slippers. It’s unlikely I get to use my other present without looking stupid if it doesn’t rain though.

Go compare Christmas

When you celebrate Christmas in a different country go compare! That’s what happens when a Catalan spends his Christmas holiday in England.

Go compare!

24^th Dec. In both England and Catalonia the birth of Jesus is celebrated at midnight in churches by fewer people every time. I guess that the most important thing is the expectation for waking up the following day to discover the presents delivered by their respective characters.

25^th Dec. English families find the presents delivered by Father Christmas under the tree. Turkey, Christmas pudding and mince pies are eaten. Catalan presents are sort of delivered by Tió, a log with face and covered with a blanket. The tradition stems from the use of logs in the fireplace to keep warm. Tió is kept somewhere in the house and fed fruit some days before Christmas, then kids sing him songs and hit him with sticks — like stirring the fire —  and it defecates [I don't make the traditions] Christmas nougat and rolled wafers and some minor present. Escudella, a thick soup with pasta and meat balls, and chicken or turkey are eaten.

26^th Dec. In England, Boxing Day is a bank holiday and, although it was a date for the rich to share with the poor, it’s become the first day of sales. In Catalonia, Sant Esteve is also a bank holiday, however, nothing special is done.

28^th Dec. Englishmen feel pity for the undeveloped south European-north African Catalan, who dare celebrate April Fools’ in December under the name of Sants Innocents.

31^st Dec. In England — and most of the world — there’s a countdown and the new year is welcomed with impressive fireworks. In Catalonia the home dels nassos or man of the noses walks the streets; kids are encouraged to find the man with as many noses as days left in the year. At midnight Catalan people eat twelve grapes as the bells strike twelve, which are meant to bring good luck.

6^th Jan. Since Catalan kids only received minor presents on the 25^th, the Three Wise Men from the East deliver the main presents of the season while they sleep so that they’ll find them in the morning.

Go compare!

Christmas and karma

Streets have been dressed up with lights for some weeks now, everybody is happy and nice because Christmas is coming and that’s how it’s supposed to be and choosing the best presents is the only thing that worries them.

Christmas is a weird season. Goodness and love fill the air and nothing that happened before matters anymore. Those who see the glass half full argue that we’re nice at least once a year; opponents criticise the agreed hypocrisy as an oasis of goodness doesn’t mean a thing after a year of evil.

This leads to the question: Why do Spanish people regard Christmas as an essential celebration and keep receiving gifts from the Three Wise Men if religion seems to be out of date? There’s no lack of alternatives; they can celebrate winter solstice — which was the original celebration — and receive gifts from their non-religious traditional characters. Christian tradition has undeniably taken roots in our society.

Karma is bad.

Were mystical excuses needed, we could look for something more neutral, less fantastic or lyrical, something such as karma. Reincarnations aside, karma is just a cause-effect concept according to which what you give if what you get. Fair as it sounds, many won’t like being forced to be nice all the time to be able to live in peace.

No wonder it’s perceived as normal to be nice for two weeks and forget about a whole year of wickedness in a religious context that forgives sins such as murder by just a secret confession. A philosophy that means a broken nail after acting badly is no match for that.

Father Christmas doesn’t exist; folders do

Christmas is almost over. Yesterday it was a special gift day in Spain and today we’re supposed to enjoy our presents. But you know I don’t really fancy them. Even though, I have to fight four magic gift phenomena.

Olentzero.

These phenomena are: the Three Wise Men from the East, Father Christmas, Olentzero and Tió.

The Three Wise Men in Spain are just the Magic Kings. It’s better if they are magic and rich to do what they are supposed to do. At home we only received presents from them. Tió is the traditional Catalan one, but we are a humble family and couldn’t afford both things. Tió was easier to skip because the Wise Men were always in the media and Spain is so stuck in monarchy.

Father Christmas is much more international. He broke into our homes ― not into mine, too humble ―, but that’s what his job is about, entering people’s houses without being noticed.

Olentzero is less well-known. He is the Basque Father Christmas. Beggar Christmas, we could say. He doesn’t come from the North Pole riding a sleigh and wearing an expensive coat, but he walks down the mountains dressed in rags. This is not surprising; he can’t afford many luxuries if he has to buy presents for all the Basque kids.

Tió.

And last but not least, the Catalan Tió. It’s a log with face which we feed for some days so we can hit him with sticks and get him shit some presents for us.

And I didn’t get a present from any of them, but I received a gift from a folder. Yes, yesterday morning I opened a folder and found one hundred euros I forgot inside it some weeks ago. It was not a bad Christmas Season after all.

Non-rhetorical question: What presents did you get? And from which of the above?