Ladies at the underground doors

Underground sign in Japan.

People who use the underground are, by definition, rude savages. It’s hard to survive down there if you’re not one of them, mainly because they awake your instincts and you end up imprisoned.

Let’s focus on a tiny spot: the doors. They are few more than one meter wide and act for few seconds in each stop, but there happens so many capital actions between them. But I’ll stuck to classics.

Firstly, there are those ladies (90 % of them are ladies, let’s be honest) who group where they think the door is going to stop. You see everybody relaxed along the platform and the ladies look at them scornfully, like they tried to pickpocket them. Moreover, they look out of the corner of their eyes, trying to hide, which make it even more obvious if possible. The worst is that when the door doesn’t stop where they are, they join to tackle whoever is in front of it.

Inconvenient 1: Push them when the train arrives is illegal. But you can always guess the place better than them and give them a juvenile delinquent look so they don’t dare to tackle you. It’s not much, but it makes you feel better.

Later, when the doors open, the same ladies form a human barrier and move forward firmly. They slow down the people flow and stop the train for some seconds. The problem is that there are ladies in every stop, so at the end of the line they cost us some minutes.

Inconvenient 2: Tripping them so they fall down and break their teeth or punching them is illegal as well. But staying still at the door, keeping them from getting on the train before the last passenger gets off and see them suffering because they are not strong enough to push you is priceless.

At the end, when they arrive to their stop — or half a minute before —, they press the opening button like there was no tomorrow, even if the train is still running and there’s no green light. The hateful thing about this is that they get bored with it just when they have to do it and then look around, outraged-faced, and you push it gently and correctly and the doors open. They thank you by tackling again, but from inside to outside.

Inconvenient 3: Shouting at them that they are stupid and trying to teach them the right way to do it is as useless as them and they can even make you look rude.

Note: Hold them so they get trapped between the doors and burst when they collide with the tunnel wall is also illegal.

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