I’m a ‘Struthio camelus’

ostrich noun a flightless swift-running African bird with a long neck, long legs, and two toes on each foot. It is the largest living bird, with males reaching a height of up to 2.75 m. Struthio camelus, the only member of the family Struthionidae. [Oxford Dictionaries]

Everybody knows that ostriches bury their head in the ground when in danger. Shame on our knowledge; since that’s a false myth. Ostriches do lower their head, for a more-than-two-metre bird is an all-you-can-eat advertisement; however, they never bury it. How would burying the organs they use to detect enemies and leaving the whole body unprotected make any sense?

This would be a fake.

I must confess I’m quite an ostrich myself; although not in the sense of not facing reality. Sometimes we run into someone we don’t feel like talking to and look away, or do something stupid in public and try to disappear in a dignifying way, or stare at someone with interest until we’re noticed. Aren’t these situations embarrassing? Well, I developed a system to cope with this embarrassment.

Whenever I wish for the earth to swallow me, I close an eye and keep walking — it must be the eye on the opposite side to the object of my embarrassment. Absurd and silly as walking with an eye closed in front of other people might be, it makes me feel slightly protected and the person I’m hiding from won’t notice it as the eye on their side is normally open.

Is the cure worse than the disease? What would you do?

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