Watchmen. Zack Snider; Malin Akerman, Billy Crudup, Matthew Goode, Jackie Earle Haley, et al. United States, 2009.
‘In an alternate reality, it’s 1985, costumed superheroes are part of the fabric of everyday society […]. When one of his former colleagues is murdered, the […] masked vigilante Rorschach sets out to uncover a plot to kill and discredit all […] superheroes. As he reconnects with his former […] legion […], Rorschach glimpses a wide-ranging and disturbing conspiracy.”
The plot is quite simple: bad guys kill superhero, superheroes join again, bad guy is really bad. That’s yet another offensively cheap excuse to justify heaps of fights, explosions, weapons and noise; an annoying North American habit that can be cool in a 70-minute film, never in a 162-minute (2 h 42 min) nightmare.
Trust me, there’s nothing on screen for that never-ending time except for special effects. The feeling after one hour of film is that nothing has happened and the action is going nowhere; completely unnecessary.
In the film there’s this question ‘Who watches the watchmen?’ Well, I don’t know who watches the watchmen, but I know who watches Watchmen, people with very little to do and no cinematographic taste at all.